It would be interesting to see what led up to the daughters frantic posting. I wonder if teens are being more disrespectful these days
because most parents punish their kids in disrespectful ways? Which comes first, rebellion and then punishment or punishment and then rebellion?
As a child, my parents would react like the video dad did (not with a gun, but destroying my treasures) and to this day, I find it hard to
communicate with them as adults. I remember so well the intense anger I felt and left home at 17. When I look back, I wished that they had
taken parenting courses (all they had back then was PET) because there are so many better ways to deal with children’s disrespect.
The memories of my childhood have faded … yet, that video will be around until that daughter is in her sixties. Does her Dad want her
to relive that over and over and over again? I think that yes, she was disrespectful and stupid to post it, but Dad could just quit paying
for her cell, internet and all the million other things he probably does for her. As the mom of two teens and two young adults, I have never
punished them, ever, in their teen years, and they are in no way disrespectful to me or others. We have a problem – we talk. If they have a
problem with chores, they talk. It’s the adult way. Respect must be mutual in love relationships. I would treat them as I do to any other adult.
I certainly wouldn’t blow away my husband’s laptop. Why would I do it to my other love relationships? Posted by Judy Arnall, author of the bestseller “Discipline Without
Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery.”
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- Faceoook Parenting for the Troubled Dad of Teen February 16, 2012It would be interesting to see what led up to the daughters frantic posting. I wonder if teens are being more disrespectful these days because most parents punish their kids in disrespectful ways? Which comes first, rebellion and then punishment … Continue reading →Judy Arnall
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I agree 100%. We have to prepare our kids from the time they are little to be responsible, respected human beings. With this comes hopefully good choices and strong adults to make the difficult decisions in life. Whenever, our teen or two older adults are needing guidance they come to my husband and myself and are able to ask us for our imput in whatever it is they are struggling with. Now, if only our parents had tools to do this with us instead of ignoring us, spanking, or its “My way or the highway” attitude. Thank goodness we can learn from their mistakes and we are all the better for it.
Very Nice, Judy.
I struggle all the time to be kind and respectful and understanding of my children. Unfortunately I often yell and bluster, and threaten – all the while knowing it only makes me the fool. Being raised by yellers, blusterers, and threateners it comes a little too easily, but I try to balance it out with lots of love, praise and hugs. Thanks for setting a good example.